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Newsletter New Year 2007

Newlsetter No 24
Posted on: July 4th, 2007

Fag ends

So we sailed away for a month and a day to the land where the Bong trees grow.... yeah! in yer dreams Byron.... however it's fair to say Rollin Stoned did embark on some fairly epic trips over a stormy June and a "beautiful Pea Green Boat" would have come in handy at times.... it would seem there's nothing like a season of summer festivals to stimulate the diuretic capacity of the heavens.

Not that you'd notice from the throngs of you who pitched up to our recent shows in the north, we do like an audience in throngs, particularly around our stage.... or shoreline as we have come to regard it. But it has brought home to us that we are maybe missing a trick here. So for our next round of excursions, our marketing boys are suggesting we augment our merchandising stock with Rollin Stoned Snorkels and Scuba gear, possibly even the odd T-Shirts with adapted blow holes so to cater for the occasional passing Porpoise potential.

And so we've come to it...... 'woo! woo! woo! "....alright now I want you to put down the cigarette, stub it out and move slowly away from the pack keeping your hands visible and clear of your mouths...."
Yep! no more smoke getting in our eyes, we can now legally live happily ever after, the air we all breath will no longer be an eye watering cocktail of collateral exhaust from countless charred and decrepitly wheezy bronchial reserves of inconsiderate others, merely polluted by the self righteous halitosis emanating from the sighs of relief of the incumbent new model nanny brigade.

So as of now, anyone caught lighting up a fag at any of our shows will end up in 'chokey'..... bit of dilemma for whoever's job it is to run the follow spot on Mick then....
As I am sure you can imagine, this topic has engendered an awful lot of whinging from the inveterate addicts within the band. Personally, having spent a career in sufficiently close proximity to 'The Human Whiff' to have, despite being a non-smoker, acquired a habitual taint of one who uses "Eau de Fin de Chien' as an aftershave, I have been feeling somewhat smug, however, sadly it would seem, from information I have just received, my joy maybe a tad premature, I quote.... "Performers - 6. Where the artistic integrity of a performance makes it appropriate for a person who is taking part in that performance to smoke, the part of the premises in which that person performs is not smoke-free in relation to that person during his performance.

You know it occurs to me that this poses an interesting legal conundrum M'lud, for whilst Keith Richard can scarcely claim smoking is an essential element of his artistic integrity since that would be a get out excemption for millions and render the law useless, a performer portraying him in an earlier incarnation would seem to have a case...... life can be so unfair when you're a mega-rich superstar.

We have another fairly hectic month ahead, and some great shows and events in prospect for July, so hopefully we will be hoisting up the 'Jolly Roger' at a port near you, although quite what Roger has to look so jolly about I don't know, what with a hoist up him.

Best wishes
The Rollin'Stoned